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2-Strats: Luke-Ass Profiles Jimmy Crack

I know how much yall like guns.

This time 2-Strats hears from Luke-Ass reporting about a guy from high school whom he saw when he visited his hometown this weekend. A story of why you don’t cut school to steal guns from people’s houses. Even if people will defend your right to masturbate with guns at the expense of 60 people’s lives in one night, more than once per night all year long.

Negro2StratsJimmyCrack10.17

State of the Union ’16

I don’t see why they don’t just keep the camera on the drunk, asleep or gossiping Congress. Notice that Warren, Sanders, McCain are the rare bright eyed and bushy tailed amongst them, Pelosi is pissed because she had a tanning bed appointment.

This should be called the “I’m fuckin repeating myself again” speech.

I really have a problem with how he keeps offhandedly dropping “terrorists,” “a handful of terrorists;” that’s way beneath his training. He should describe them by their values and not just label them.

“I’ve also talked to house speaker Ryan about tackling poverty.” Yeah if you mean cops tackling black kids and Ryan tackling human trafficked prostitutes, you’re right.

Probably the best moment is “When Russia beat us to space 60 years ago, we didn’t deny that Sputnik was up there. We didn’t deny the science…”

Followed by a terrible moment: “…meanwhile we’ve cut our oil imports by 60%…” and the Missouri river will literally NEVER heal from the contamination from the Bakken formation under Williston.

Look at Paul Ryan’s smile. “I forced my dick down a Vietnamese girl’s throat today and filmed it, I’m on Instagram.”

This part where he says that policing the world is bad, Iraq and Vietnam were a lesson, and then enumerates how we’re rocking the middle east with thousands of missile strikes is gross. He never chooses peace and prosperity or war and occupation! You can’t cheerlead for both sides! And look at these assholes standing up. Applause courtesy of Lockheed and Raytheon.

He sounds like Bush and then says we’ll mobilize the world to work with us! You can’t do both sides, god dammit! As Hafez wrote, “I want to tear this coat of hipocrisy!”