Tag Archives: roadbeers

Road Yuck: Angry Orchard

Another case –no actually, a single –of leaving a good bottle in the pack when you throw it out. In Santa Cruz I caught this Angry Orchard in the guy’s recycling bin. It’s brewed by Boston (Samuel Adams). I feel like I should do a lengthy, useless video like those cats do on youtube about beers that you’d never ever need to review…

Anyhow I drank the errant Angry Orchard for the first time, warm like I tend to do, and it was like drinking a soda at the same time as a gross cheap beer. Turn the label around and wouldn’t you know, it’s got almost as much sugar in it as a friggin soda. Yuck! Soda is bad for you, kids! Roadbeers are the meaning of life!

20170603_133427.jpg

Let’s talk about the mouthfeel. Again, sugary, syrupy, not good. Like a lot of American beers, not really fizzy but like liquid sand, or granulated pellets of solid gasoline, like my friend and I were saying when we tried a Steel Reserve Hard Pineapple last weekend –as research for my next novel!

I never eat sweets so I’m pretty sure I can TASTE the high-fructose corn syrup in shit, particularly in Pabst, High Life, these kinds of gross beers, when I feel like increasing my vow of poverty or find myself at a show.

Greatest Roadbeers Yet

Holy shit, I just was wandering with Negrito around SJSU, looking for containers to recycle, when wouldn’t you know it I happened by chance across the biggest stash of roadbeers that I ever found: 7 Pyramid Haywire Hefeweizens (or in Santa Cruz, heffenwisen) plus an eighth of something I forgot.

20161221_132538

They’d been put out in the office wastebasket outside the door to a department of the university that will go unnamed. I immediately shared a few with the first lady who walked by so you know I’m not greedy.

This is the biggest stash I’ve ever found in one shot, and brings me up towards the 20 mark of total roadbeers found since I’ve been counting!

I tried to share the good news by finding some free beer-finders’ forum but all I found was http://freebeer.org. But these louies don’t know jack about free beer! Share your free beer story in a comment below!

UPDATE: I think it’s called Haywire Hefeweizen because they fucked it up. It’s gross, no head whatsoever. Maybe the department that shall not be named left it out in the sun or something.

UPDATE: OH I GET IT it’s someone’s homebrew. Indeed.