Tag Archives: yuck

Road Yuck: Angry Orchard

Another case –no actually, a single –of leaving a good bottle in the pack when you throw it out. In Santa Cruz I caught this Angry Orchard in the guy’s recycling bin. It’s brewed by Boston (Samuel Adams). I feel like I should do a lengthy, useless video like those cats do on youtube about beers that you’d never ever need to review…

Anyhow I drank the errant Angry Orchard for the first time, warm like I tend to do, and it was like drinking a soda at the same time as a gross cheap beer. Turn the label around and wouldn’t you know, it’s got almost as much sugar in it as a friggin soda. Yuck! Soda is bad for you, kids! Roadbeers are the meaning of life!

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Let’s talk about the mouthfeel. Again, sugary, syrupy, not good. Like a lot of American beers, not really fizzy but like liquid sand, or granulated pellets of solid gasoline, like my friend and I were saying when we tried a Steel Reserve Hard Pineapple last weekend –as research for my next novel!

I never eat sweets so I’m pretty sure I can TASTE the high-fructose corn syrup in shit, particularly in Pabst, High Life, these kinds of gross beers, when I feel like increasing my vow of poverty or find myself at a show.

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