Discover the themed shitbox

Gimme something to consume, and make it macho, faggit! Where’s my tiki torch…

Yknow if you weren’t so nonconformist and broke, you could be getting razors for a fraction of the price in a really nice box that you can throw away later. How you gonna be in the leisure money gang without the evidence???

Meanwhile, during the quarantine abuse by macho men against their families is piling up and the court systems can’t deal with it. Kids used to use school as a place to get away from abuse but now schools have to sacrifice so you can go to the gym, so. If you’re tired of the man in your life, I’ve got a comic for that too:

Punk show saturday night under 280/87

This beautiful September evening, the best part of the Californian year, there was a punk rock party under 280/87. Don’t think I’m blowing the whistle, because anyone could see. There were some skate dudes, notably without electric boards, and a bunch of kids drinking beer and smoking weed and manning tables of indistinct art and generally having a good time.

In typical punk show fashion, the fucking band couldn’t seem to start playing over fifteen fucking minutes, like they were working on their tone knobs or still convincing the drummer to get out of his car.

Normally I would say Fuck Yes and get in it, but I didn’t feel good bringing back a compromised story to my family, since all these kids and their parents and grandparents are going to get fucking coronavirus and someone could die, and it’s not funny (I still want humans to go extinct but ahem, I’m being polite here). There was a sign posted to wear a mask but maybe ten percent did, and there was no six foot distance for sure.

Hard to say why no one was wearing a mask. I guess they figure the kids already can’t go back to school this semester so what the fuck, just get sick. Was it the libertarian I-don’t-care-if-your-mom-dies unmaskedness, or the honest invincible youthful rebellion unmaskedness, or fear of being called gay by “punkers” with brand new Sodom shirts in 2020, or something else? What would I do if I were that age now? I don’t know.

I didn’t even stop to ask who and what and wherefore but I hope they were organizing something excellent besides the obvious party outcome. Maybe it had to do with the decisions on the Breonna Taylor case but it didn’t seem like it. I sort of felt old. The only guy there with gray hair had a Psychopathic hatchetman pendant, and a trashed skate, not going into the fray either, I guess a year older than me, right? I still don’t know who organizes these annual shindigs, a failure on my part. Would love to be involved sometime. Maybe the organizers will find this and hit me up.

In related news, just today, after all this, I remembered the new Cattle Decapitation song Bring back the plague for the first time since March. I wonder what the response has been to that tune. The Day on the Bay is going to be virtual this year.

COVID19 Infection Data: Santa Clara County’s 20-Something Men

Here we are, quarantined (or rather not) in friggin August. And by the time I got the scanner working, September!
Hard not to connect the county’s painfully vague infection numbers with what we all know about humans.


I was gonna put VALLEY CHRISTIAN or LELAND across the neonazi’s chest but yknow, you all don’t need me to explain every last thing.

“Universal Basic Income” Financial Support for Santa Clara County Foster Youth

A lot of stuff has changed in Santa Clara County since I started writing Byebye and Shlort in 2015. At that time the big break for downtown’s homeless former foster youth was still Martha’s Kitchen. Now there are the shower trucks, and other stuff I’m probably no longer hip to.
Now Dave Cortese is announcing that Santa Clara County former foster youth will receive new financial support for a year, branded ever so trendily as “universal basic income” or “UBI,” as they age out of the foster system. What hasn’t changed is people’s callousness toward and judgment of former foster youth, which is like having a felony or something. Statistics, video, etc. on foster youth’s ending up homeless is widely and easily available on the internet.
The catch is that individuals must make it all the way to 24 before eligibility for the $1000/month support for one year. There’s enough for 72 individuals so far. The article linked above is worth reading in its entirety. I would embed a video on the subject but it’s only on Facebook, so.

Consumer Consensus 2020: Education Unimportant Before Ego

The self-esteem police have decreed consensus!


A person’s routine, comfort and reality tunnel must not be disturbed by any world-historic struggle or growth, including the education systems required for such to work, lest the self-esteem suffer! This hits a variety of issues, such as cop lynching, whether to wear a mask outside amid an epidemic and how to face our own history (in our case, not at all!! Ha ha!!!), for just a few examples.

LIFE HACK: Put another statue next to the non-white-fragility one, which serves exclusively to explain the other one! Have you been anywhere outside the US??? We need more monuments, not less!!

Shape of Normal and Covid19 Quarantine Life Blobs

Calculate ALL those areas, losers!

LIFE HACK: Your day has 24 hours. Unless you’re the old person you gave Coronavirus to by not washing your hands, then your day is ZERO hours!

¿Por qué chucha todavía estamos en cuarentena? Un estudio crítico

Lástima pensar que los esfuerzos de marzo, abril y mayo para contener el coronavirus en el condado de Santa Clara, que requerieron dejar el trabajo, la familia y los espacios públicos, se desperdiciaron completamente a través de unas pocas semanas veranales de valeverga. ¿Pero quién tiene la culpa? Vamos a investigar.ENegroPorQueCuarentena7.20

¡Y esto es sólo un caso! Hace falta investigar más.
Lo único que sabemos es que nuestros niños no pueden volver a la escuela sin que la tasa de infección baje constantemente, y que cuando echamos desmadre aislados en la casa, los números no aumentan. Evidentemente la seguridad necesaria para ejercer el derecho de educar a nuestros niños es mucho pedir.

¡Y claro que este estudio abarca los güeros aterrorizados de los suburbios! Güeros liberales con su feminismo falsificado tienen su propio machismo.

*SINCRONICIDAD* Apenas iba a subir esta tira, ¡y rumbo a la casa después de una caminata encontré una botella de corona roadbeer! ¿Se recoge una Corona errada durante coronavirus? ¡Y yo sin la jodida rociadora de alcohol!
Translation for, as Burroughs said, you dumb SOBs don’t speak Spanish: Synchronicity! I was just about to put up this comic when coming back from a run I found a roadbeer Corona! To pick up a roadbeer Corona during coronavirus?? And me without that alcohol spray bottle!!

Infographic: No school for kids, yes bars for online dating

ATTENTION STUDENTS AND CHILDREN! Here’s an infographic for you to explain to your big siblings and divorced parents how cool they are for their three holiest habits: fake online dating and fake friends at the Ultralounge, psychotic machista narcissist porn mentality at the gym, and pointless vanity at the nail salon.


And to keep these commandments, the County of Santa Clara’s school districts hath soldeth YOU out! YOU are probably not going to school this year! Enjoy looking at a screen for 5 hours a day (and not even getting a spree for it)!

Who really benefits from this crisis? We can start with Minecraft, Fortnite, Clash of Clans, Instagram, Tiktok …

BYEBYE AND SHLORT Novel at Bay Area Libraries

Libraries are open, at least for pickup, again!


One of the worst things about this Puta Cuarentena, besides how no one seems to want it to end, is not having a library to hide in.

If you need something to read, my latest 4.5/5-rated novel BYEBYE AND SHLORT is available at the following libraries. Use your interlibrary loan system!

Mt. View: book
Oakland: book
San Jose: ebook
Santa Cruz: book

Solving Coronavirus by shutting down schools and opening bars for Pharaohs Car Club

Why are we still in a quarantine 4 months later? In summer??? Evidence can be found from a safe distance. I drove by the Classic Burger in Los Gatos on Saturday and all 16 members present of the San Jose Pharaohs car club sure as shit weren’t social distancing, except the two young heshers with the long bread. And these people are old enough to surely die from the coronavirus! Of course Los Gatos, that’s where you move to not follow anyone’s advice but your own for life. Notice that I’m able to draw his whole face:


So it’s a Santa Clara county safe for burger joint car shows, nail salons (where the Pharaohs’ ladies are getting their shit done, at least the guy dyed his thin pompadour black with spraypaint), bars and gyms –stuff that supports the fragile ego, the psychotic machismo and the fake friend — and no safe, halfway-educational place during the day for the kids.

Tell the Board of Supervisors what you think of that!

UPDATE: Holy shit, my scanner glass is dirty. That’s what happens when I use it to fuckin roll blunts, right Ian?? Time to switch to the vape pen.

Love eachother and practice conservation, ¡pendejos!